Congruent means the same on the inside as on the outside. This is never real easy to achieve but it is possible. What this implies, is you are able to express what you are truly experiencing without harming the person you are in a relationship with.

This takes some learning and effort. Children are congruent. They cry, are upset, want, and state their needs because they are just being congruent. Adults hold on to thoughts and emotions and wants because they don’t want to hurt the other person. A congruent person feels fully the experience they are having and most of the time they are able to express that feeling